Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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