I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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