I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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