i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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