some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
