just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
