i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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