dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
