oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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