Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
