My first STD was from a foam party
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He better not be in your backpack
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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