I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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