We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
