4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
