im drinking this country out of the recession.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
