Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
