Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
