I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize