So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
