I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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