It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
