don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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