sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
