cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
