Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
