bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
