jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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