I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
