Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
