you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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