hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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