Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
