You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
