So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
