her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
