Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
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