We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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