i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
