i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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