Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
