I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
All the doctor said was why
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
