you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
