I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
