You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
