oh god the rape fog is back!
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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