At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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