I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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