Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
