Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
