After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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